Wednesday, 14 January 2015

How will advanced prostate cancer affect my sex life and relationship?

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An advanced prostate cancer diagnosis can change a lot of things, including your relationship with your partner. But the two of you can respond in ways that could strengthen your connection.

Get Clear on What to Expect

Knowledge is power. If you understand the physical and sexual side effects you could have during or after prostate cancer treatment, you'll be better prepared to handle them. And confusion, anger, and similar emotions can lead you to distance yourself from your partner. That’s why it’s important to ask your doctor what symptoms you might have, and how you should manage them.

Share the information with your partner, too. It lets him or her know what you might go through.

“It helps to bring your partner to a few doctor’s appointments so you can talk through what to expect, both right away and later down the line,” says urologist S. Adam Ramin, MD. He is the medical director of Urology Cancer Specialists in Los Angeles.

Most men who go through prostate cancer treatment have trouble getting or maintaining an erection in the first few months after treatment. Sometimes these problems can be long-lasting. Radiation, chemotherapy, surgery, and medications (including hormone therapy) are strong medicine, and their side effects can make you gain weight, lower your libido, make you tired, and give you urinary incontinence, too.

“These issues can be upsetting. But there’s a lot you can do to manage them,” Ramin says.

For example, after treatment, men with erectile problems may be able to get erections with the help of medications, injections, or surgeries (such as penile implants).

“Being proactive about your health can improve your self-confidence, which makes you more likely to stay intimate with your partner,” Ramin says.

Be Extra Affectionate

As you go through treatment, you might feel angry, depressed, or anxious. That’s normal. But if you feel that way most of the time, it will harm your relationship.

“For many men, if their penis stops functioning the way they’d like, they withdraw sexually. And because sex and affection often go hand-in-hand for people, they withdraw affection from their partners, too,” says Daniel N. Watter, PsyD. He's a psychologist and board-certified sex therapist. "Not being physically affectionate can cause you and your partner to drift apart."



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